FCC chair Ajit Pai was not exactly a wallflower at the annual telecom prom Thursday night (Dec. 6), but his humor tends toward the generally gentle and self-deprecating, including the obligatory shots at various industry players.

Pai was speaking at the annual FCC Chairman's Dinner. It is sponsored by the Federal Communications Bar Association and raises money for the FCBA Foundation, which supports communications related and educational projects, including scholarships and work stipends.

The dinner is historically a chance for the FCC chairmen to do their best impression of a stand-up comic, to varying degrees of success.

Between the jokes about Philadelphia fans--the worst--the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes--the best--and a closing video of Pai and various FCC staffers and industry figures singing "I Don't Want a Lot for Christmas" in a send-up of 'Carpool Karaoke,' there were those fairly gentle jibes at industry, including edge providers, which have been getting a lot of grief in D.C. lately.

Pai said he had heard Amazon had not bought a table this year because the FCBA refused to come up with the $600 million in subsidies--a reference to the fact that it is locating its new headquarters just outside D.C. in Arlington, Va.

"Facebook is here, somewhere," he said. "Remember the original motto 'move fast, break things.' Been there, done that."

He said things had been "rocky" for Google, too. "Allegations of privacy violations, questions about the company's refusal to compete for federal contracts, uncertainty over antitrust liability. But I choose to look on the bright side: Their most recent search innovation will insure that nobody in China will know about any of it.

"Microsoft is here as well," he said. "Last week Microsoft passed Apple to be the most valuable company in the world. But capitalism is cruel. Even approaching one trillion dollars in market cap, they still can't afford to buy spectrum."

The line drew one of the night's biggest laughs, particularly from the National Association of Broadcasters tables. NAB has been saying for years that Microsoft could have bought spectrum in the incentive auction rather than push for unlicensed spectrum in the "white spaces" between and around TV channels repacked after that auction.